Friday, May 11, 2007

Buffalo "Hockey" Tribe

Richard May headshot by Richard May

I love the Buffalo Sabres hockey team, whatever it actually is. There is something called "play offs" going on now, involving the Sabres tribe or whatever, which is perhaps a totem of some sort or a tribal paramilitary unit. Initially I assumed "play offs" were jerk-offs of some sort, but maybe not.

But here in the Nigerian sewer system all the normal people stay in their dwellings and scream tribal warfare slogans during the "games", whatever the "games" are. I think there is a definite religious dimension to these tribal competitions also, requiring repeated public affirmations of a "belief" in the superiority of one's local tribe.

Apparently these tribal warfare games determine the meaning of being a male in Earth culture. The young males always do things with balls and sticks of various sorts in the street and talk about "tight ends" in the autumn.

This means if I leave my subterranean hyperdimensional bunker to go jogging during one of the games, I don't have to see as many normal Nigerian sewer dwellers. This is what I love about the Sabres. There's nothing worse than having normal people in your face saying, "How ya doin? Doin good?" Then you're supposed to say, even if it's your last breath, "Yeah, Doin good, doin real good." One never needs an emetic.

Another thing I'm not clear on is why two thirds of the normal males here above age forty look very pregnant. Maybe it's part of "doin good?" Apparently these tribal "teams" consist of more than the totality of one person's body cells or sub-personalities, a concept difficult to imagine, like infinity. I've learned that when normals shout, "Go Sabres," they don't mean, "Please just go away," which is what I had assumed.


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