Americans In Their 40s Are Living Longer Today

by Richard May

I suppose that more Americans are getting "early onset Alzheimer's disease" in their 40s, and 50s, because people are living more years in their 40 and 50s today. I notice that neither the Congress nor the media have a high degree of interest in this phenomenon, so it must be quite normal. When teenagers begin to get Alzheimer's, it will be interesting to watch the media and politicians spin it. Headline: "Teenage Alzheimer's is no cause for immediate concern." Teenagers are just living longer today and modern diagnostic techniques are more accurate.” We just didn’t notice the teenagers with Alzheimer’s in the past. A dramatically increasing rate of autism in America's children is quite normal and natural also.

Curiously, I've heard no mention of cross cultural data comparing the incidence of “early onset Alzheimer’s” in America with that of Europe and Asia. Now you don't suppose that unknown or deliberately ignored environmental factors could be underlying this do you?

Coincidentally Japan and Ireland inspect 100% of their beef cattle for BSE. But in the US only 1% is inspected and the head of the United States Department of Agriculture was appointed from cattle industry. Ubiquitous environmental EMF and variant forms of CJD and/or changes to the foods that Americans consume by agribusiness, including various herbicides, pesticides, GM crops, untested for long-term safety, and the interactions among these, may potentially not be unrelated to the appearance of “early onset Alzheimer’s”.

But it's the economy stupid! Too many functioning brains are a nuisance in any case, especially if in the heads of older economic units, I mean, American citizens. Of course, "Christians" are preoccupied with moral questions regarding the decadence of Tinky Winky, and cannot be troubled by socialist concerns, such as holes in human brains.

There will be no "proof" of this or anything else, because of the nature of inductive reasoning. Russian roulette has not been proven to be detrimental to one's health either. There is just the recurring discovery of deceased people with bullet-sized holes in their head and recently discharged pistols in their hand, who had been playing the game of Russian roulette. But correlation does not imply causation. The causal link cannot be observed, as David Hume noted. Tomorrow the sun or corporate profits may rise in the West. More research is and will be needed.

So chill and enjoy the monosodium glutamate-enhanced ‘natural flavors’ of your irradiated genetically-modified food, high fructose corn syrup, with melamine and delicious diethylene glycol from China, and watch the news about Anna Nicole Smith and Paris Hilton. A long shelf life for your brain is not necessary for the profits of agribusiness and the medical-industrial complex.

May-Tzu

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New Study Shows Reading Studies Is Bad For You

Researchers say more research is needed

by Richard May

Top experts question value of reading studies paid for by corporations with an agenda. New research by Pharmzer Inc. contradicts this claim. Six months ago similar study of effects of reading studies produced opposite results. Study of effects of studies suggests that information overload and cognitive dissonance, produced by contradictory study results, causes heightened anxiety and depression. Pharmzer says Biafra® may be the answer, "vitamin" supplements highly dangerous, according to new research. Researchers say more research on the effects of reading studies is necessary. Pharmzer says if children are placed on proper medications, the psychological problems associated with reading new studies of contradictory new studies could be eliminated. Governor of Texas agrees effects of reading studies of studies is a major public health problem and says vaccinations of all school age children should be mandatory. President Bush compassionately warned Americans of the effect of reading dangerous Canadian studies of new studies. New study by the U.S. General Accounting Office questions the dangers of reading studies of new Canadian studies. USDA cautions Americans that according to new studies by top experts, Alzheimer's syndrome appearing in adolescence is entirely normal* and is occurring simply because American teenagers are living longer now, not an possible effect of environmental toxins, ubiquitous microwave radiation and EMF or a variant form CJD caused by prions. Other studies of Alzheimer's suggest that in the past it was uncommon in Americans before the age of eighteen. Researchers say that according to new studies by top researchers, more research is necessary. Previous studies question this result.

May-Tzu

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NASA Plans to Construct Earth Base

Self-sustaining settlement of astronauts on Earth by 2020!

by Richard May

This is just so very exciting. I've dreamed since childhood that mankind would establish a base on Earth during my life time. I think our destiny as a species is to establish colonies on Earth.

Maybe some day life will be discovered in NYC! The Brooking's Institution report of the early 20th century makes clear that the discovery of intelligent life in NYC would be potentially devastating to Kansas civilization, most of the Red areas of the U.S. election maps and religious fundamentalists of all varieties. Probably the discovery of advanced intelligent life in NYC would be considered a matter of the highest national security. The U.S. military would have a real need to reverse engineer advanced-NYC ipods, cell phones and PS3s, for example.

SETI may discover advanced-ET smoke signals too, maybe from Brooklyn or Tokyo. Smoke signals make such awesome screensavers! Seth Shostack will be the first to tell us. I'm sure civilizations far advanced of ours would use smoke signals in the hydrogen frequency and not use spread spectrum transmissions; better screensavers!

May-Tzu

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More May-hem

by Richard May

Vista

the author before the debilitating onslaught of advanced thought

After so many years of striving I finally became a blind rodent, incessantly gnawing its way through a limitless garbage heap, contemplating its own sublimity; listening with resentment to the gnawing sounds of its blind fellows nearby.

Valentine's Moment

I've never met anyone like you before, the Prince said to himself. The Princess was in complete agreement, saying that she also had never met anyone like herself either. After a chronon or two in each other’s presence the Princess and the Prince unfortunately came to what passed for their senses. Sadly they finally stopped doing drugs, both recreational and psychotropic pharmaceuticals, and even worse stopped consuming endless amounts of sucrose; experienced an immediate and disturbing reduction in their reality deficit disorders; awaked from the delusional dreams of Western culture, only to discover that neither was a Princess nor a Prince at all, nor even a person.

The "Princess" was actually an empty mirror attached to the wall of a room. Immediately opposite this mirror was another mirror, which had dreamed it was a "Prince". When the room was filled with people, the mirrors reflected what passed before them, causing them to identify with the passing drama of those others who also thought that they were actual people. But when the room was empty, the two opposing mirrors each reflected, and even mirrored, each other with perfect, but depthless, fidelity; Empty mirrors looking into each other eternally or at least until someone turned off the lights.

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Don't Be Just Another Gun Fatality Statistic

by Fred Vaughan

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Bedtime Story: George And The Chosen Prions

by Richard May

Once upon a time there was a wonderful president of all the people named George the Compassionate Christian. He wanted to protect the American people from buying dangerous Canadian pharmaceutical drugs, which would be a form of economic terrorism against the impoverished mom-and-pop-store pharmaceutical companies, just trying to scrape by. George also wanted to make the world safe for democracy, especially important in the end times.

Apparently, according to George, Jesus loved assault rifles, transnational conglomerates and was an American Republican too, because he preferred depleted uranium to universal health insurance or to testing beef cattle for prions, which would be a form of economic terrorism against the cattle industry.

Jesus often said, "In my Father's house there are many cash registers." Jesus also said that the European Union was deceived by Satan and only Americans were good, because some few of them had the most money of all.

George was good, and he loved good people, so he decided to tax the so-called indigent and the so-called homeless, as the tax evaders they were, as a kindness to improve their self-esteem. The wicked socialists, i.e., anyone who foolishly thought that humans were sentient beings and corporation were not sentient, and that this actually mattered, objected to this; and to George's plan to reform the tax code, such that those with the lowest income were now to be honored with the highest taxes, as a kindness to improve their self-esteem.

But Jesus was said to work for the U. S. Justice Department and the wicked socialists, i.e., anyone not in a high corporate position or not a right-wing Republican, were now classified as supporters of terrorism, because the neocon Republicans were terrified some of the wicked socialist ideas would catch on.

So George saved the American people by always doing what was in their best interest in the end times. For example, George understood homelessness as just maximized American freedom, "considering the lilies of the field and how they grow …", not a social problem at all, as long as the so-called homeless paid their new homelessness tax.

George had wonderful values, was very wise and understood that such trifles as the nuclear and biological holocaust of a World War III, the effects of sudden global climate change on the ecosphere, environmental effects of greenhouse gasses and supposed deleterious heath effects of high arsenic levels in drinking water, the prudence of testing more than one percent of American cattle for BSE and trivialities such as healthcare were just wicked socialist concerns, certainly not important moral issues, like preventing gay marriage, especially during the end times.

Happily the endless end times finally arrived as a self-fulfilling prophesy, because George wanted to fulfill the lucid prophesy of the Texas Book Of Revelation, miraculously discovered under his dad's bed. During the Final Days, it was revealed that God actually had been living in a little town in Texas as a cattle rancher, after He retired from Texas Big Oil. God created the Earth about six thousand years ago, standing in Texas with an assault rifle.

So everyone on Earth died happily ever after! The best American people died smiling in their own personal underground bunkers, which were really modified SUVs, stocked with upsized delicious genetically modified and irradiated junk food, copies of the authentic Texas Book Of Revelation, written by Jesus, himself, and very large-screened plasma TVs, because they were the best.

Only God's chosen prions survived the end times in the brains of victims of CJD, many of whom had already been deliberately misdiagnosed as Alzheimers victims. By cleverly jumping from species to species, the meek prions inherited the Earth, as foretold in the Bible.

Jesus was exceedingly happy that the beef industry was healthy during the Final Days, a term apparently referring to the stock market, according to the chosen prions, which were all Republicans and fundamentalist Christians, needless to say. Eventually the by now highly evolved prions, aided symbiotically by internet viruses and trojans, went forth in warp drive starships to colonize the brains of the many brane worlds of the meshuggahverse, as the most noble CJD, exactly as God had intended from the very beginning.

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The Dumbest Generation Yet

by Charmaine Frost

For more than 2000 years, successive generations have been progressively more stupid and morally obtuse; this tendency was bemoaned by Socrates who, as one of the last sages of a dying Golden Age, would never have uttered anything which wasn't factual and carefully considered.

Man's outer physique hides the true nature of his brain. The average brain, in the time of Socrates, possessed 200 times more convolutions than a modern brain; the surface area of a typical cerebrum was as large as a golf course. Ordinary peasants didn't need to study languages; after hearing only a paragraph of a foreign tongue, they instantly under stood its rules of syntax. That most people were illiterate is a modern myth; children weren't taught reading, as they instantly understood how words and sentences were written after hearing only 3 passages read aloud.

Pericles, Overseer of a Golden Age

In the medieval era, the surface area of a typical cerebrum was as large as a football field. Toddlers mastered the rules of logic in only 2 days; between mudfights, they debated how many obese angels could lounge on the head of a pin. Many youths, preferring ivy covered towers to the jousting field, studied laws defined by Merlin, a physicist who lived and wrote during the glittering pinnacle of the Golden Age; thus they knew how to travel backwards and forwards in time and how to reverse ageing, so that many lived for 300 years but died as newborns.

In the Age of Enlightenment, symbolized by a sputtering candle flame rather than by a glowing light bulb, the average brain possessed 20 times more convolutions than a modern one, and cerebral surface area was as large as a tennis court. Children now needed tutors, if they were to learn reading; however, even peasant babes, destined to illiteracy, extolled the virtues of reason in polysyllabic monologues while crawling on all fours. Students of the Great Mysteries, after years spent deciphering ancient scholarly texts, learned how to surround their heads with crown-like coronas of radiant light -leading to the association of "bright" with studious or intelligent and leading students of the arcane to understand how halos were really created. Our own brains fill the same cranial capacity as those of our forebears. However, while their brains were densely packed with sparking neurons, our brains are largely water, which fills interstices once populated by thought-generating cells; remove the water, and our brains would be as small as lemons, with the minimally convoluted surface area only as large as the floorspace in an average dusty closet. If we lived in the Golden Age, we'd seem no smarter than chipmunks.

With each generation, the number of cerebral convolutions decreases and their depth lessens; despite our claims of progress, this is devolution in its purest form. In 200 years, the surface area of the average cerebrum will equal that of a lemon; in 400 years, it will equal that of a midget pea. Those with stethoscopes (if they know how to use them!) or especially acute ears, will hear the water sloshing back and forth in skulls as people walk. Lovers, with faces close together, will hear the ocean surf in the beloved's head. Most likely, however, the word "love" will have been forgotten and sound like just another random cough of Nature. With noses together, our couple will sniff the pheromones, then grunt and hump.

This youngest generation may be the dumbest yet, but dumber are to come; such was lamented by Socrates, and predicted by grandparents of wiser eras. But rest assured, members of the dumbest generation: Someday, you will be paragons of humans on earth, able to proudly sneer at your moron progeny.

Primary among Building Projects of the Golden Age was the Parthenon, a marvelous and enduring symbol of the "greatest generation." The Parthenon was ostensibly dedicated to Athena Parthenos, the Virgin Goddess of war, wisdom and weaving, and patron goddess of the city of Athens. Inside the temple stood a 40-foot tall gold and ivory statue of her made by Pheidias, the friend of Pericles. But there are many clues that this magnificent building was intended to glorify the extraordinary mortal inhabitants of the city. The great frieze, traditionally seen as celebrating the gods, and in which the statue of the goddess Athena is honored, evokes images of mortal victories in which there are 192 Athenian soldiers featured on the frieze -- the exact number of Athenians who fell fighting the Persians at Marathon. -- The Editor

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Millie

by Richard May

Unexpectedly I saw her in the distance. Although she was no longer young, she also saw me, still remembering me after so long. Our previous trysts were so passionate that embarrassingly I did not learn if her name was Amelia or Millicent. She walked unhesitatingly toward me in quick determined steps.

Marc Chagall painting with insets

We stood before each other again silently, floating above the Earth, like two figures in Chagall's dreams. This time we did not speak of philosophy, but of our love, or more properly, the objectless love which simply was. Her academic pedi-gree and Yichus were of less importance than her presence. She was Gautama and Rumi; I listened, drinking in her silence.

Ordinarily I do not initiate contact with a goddess, leaving that possibility to her. But her eyes looked up at me impatiently with clear meaning. I touched her gently and she brushed against me softly, purring. The longhaired old girl's calico fur was beautifully wind combed in the still autumn sunlight.

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A Visitor From A Type-4 Civilization

by Richard May

"My" cat, Jessie, a renowned Zen master with cosmological interests, is apparently from a type-4 cat civilization. She is attempting to alter the fabric of space-time in such a way as to broaden the wormholes connecting her universe with parallel universes, which she explained to me are simply other quantum states of this universe from the perspective of her Zen quantum cosmology. Such broadened wormholes are called "mouseholes", according to Master Jessie.

She has not yet revealed to me whether she is simply looking for a safe retreat in which to spend her ninth (parallel) life or is searching for "parallel mice" in the universe next door. At night she claims to disappear into the interstices of brane worlds in pursuit of "dark mice", which may perhaps be exotic subatomic particles. By day she appears to watch creatures unseen by me fly by in higher-dimensional space, which she freely explores in her dream body.

When not meditating on the sound of "her original mew, before the universe was born", she contemplates the implications of super string theory and/or M theory for the movement of her tail. Sometimes I am privileged to eat from her bowl.

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